St. Jude Catholic Church

Homily for October 4, 2009
after reading: Gen 2:18-24; Ps 128; Heb 2:9-11; Mk 10:2-16

God loves us as His children. And he wants what's best for us. He understands how we're made because He made us. And He knows what we need for true happiness, because He's always had a design for it. And he reveals to us through scripture how we're meant to relate to each other. So Jesus tells us, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."

Now, our society allows for divorce for any reason, or for no reason at all. But God reveals to us, that according to His plan divorce is not the solution. You see, according to civil law, you can go to a justice of the peace and get married, and agree to enter into a contract. But then when the parties agree to dissolve the contract, it's over. Though, it's not forgotten, is it? It remains a part of you, a part of your story, and it continues to effect you.

According to the church, what you're asked to do is to come before God to get married, with a priest or a deacon witnessing the promises you make to each other. And you agree to enter into a covenant, a holy covenant before God. Not just a contract that can be dissolved, but a covenant that binds you to each other and to God. At a wedding, when the bride and groom declare their vows to each other, I say, "What God has joined, men must not divide."

And when God is a part of your marriage, that makes it: sacramental. What's sacramental about it? Sacraments are signs for us of God's presence in the world. And when you enter into the sacrament of marriage, you're asking God to bless your relationship so that the kind of love you have for each other reflects the same kind of love that God has for you.

God loves us freely. He harbors no doubts. He sets no conditions. He holds nothing back. And in the wedding ceremony, I ask the engaged couple, "Have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?"

If you're feeling pressured to get married, now's not the time. If you've got serious doubts about this being the right person, or if you can be the right person for your espoused, then you need to wait. If you're only willing to get married if..., then you're not ready to love with the same kind of unconditional love that God offers us.

God's love is not only unconditional, it's eternal. And I ask the engaged couple, "Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?" You need to be ready to stand by each other "in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health." You need to enter into this covenant saying divorce is not an option. That no matter what happens, you'll be ready to forgive as God forgives us. You'll be ready to work together, as God works with us. You'll be ready to continually renew your relationship as God continually renews us through His sacraments.

God's love is unconditional. God's love is eternal. God's love is life-giving. During the wedding, I ask, "Will you accept children lovingly from God?" We need to be able to see children as a gift. And to understand that awesome trust God places with us to allow us to participate in bringing new life into the world. We're given a share of that creative power that brought our own lives into being. And just as Jesus points to the children and says, "The Kingdom of God belongs to such as these," children should remind us of how God loves us, a Father, who watches over us, and guides us in the truth. When you enter into marriage, you enter into a sacred obligation to allow God to work through you, if He so blesses you, to bring children into the world, and to share your faith with them, and guide them in the truth. Every child must be respected as a person, from the moment of conception, as one of God's beloved.

"For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother, and be joined to his wife. And the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh."

If you're called to the vocation of marriage, then let that holy covenant be a sign for all of us of how God loves us. Let your love for your espoused, for your beloved, be unconditional. Let your commitment to each other be without end. Let your openness to each other be truly life-giving. Let your marriage be the sacrament that shows us God's design for how we were meant to be “In the beginning”.